Thursday, June 23, 2011

STRAIGHT-TO-DVD SEQUELS

1. MIMIC 2: HARDSHELL (2001)


-Now when I first saw the original Mimic (1997), I'll admit, I was impressed by how entertaining I found it to be. I had no appeal to watch it, but then I streamed it on Netflix and it wasn't half bad. Solid story, great performances, and pretty creepy if you ask me. You always wonder what lurks in those New York City subways... So it was no surprise to me that Miramax decided to make a sequel which became Mimic 2: Hardshell, released in 2001. The film had no one from the original EXCEPT Alix Koromzay (who played Mira Sorvino's friend, Remy, in the original), taking on the lead role this time. She plays a Chemistry teacher at an inner city school in New York City. One thing leads to another. Ya dah ya dah ya dah... Long story short. Long John and the cockroaches begin to invade the school leaving Remy, a couple students and a Detective, trapped inside. I love any horror/sci-fi film that involves kids, so... when I read this was taking place inside a school?!? I jumped the gun to see it. Boy, was this a mess. It takes like 50 minutes to actually get to the action of the bugs attacking the school, and when it does? It absolutely blows. The lighting is way too dark, you can't see anything. It would have been way cooler if ALL the students and faculty were trapped inside.. THAT would have been entertaining. But nope. A $10 million budget won't allow that apparently. This film drags to a point where you just want them all to die and get it over with. I found myself waiting for this piece of garbage to end. And it's not even 90 minutes! So. If your a fan of the original, DO NOT see this sequel. It's pathetic. I have not seen the threequel, Mimic 3: Sentinel, but... after seeing this one? I think I'll pass...

2. WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007)


-I remember when I found out the original Wrong Turn had been released on DVD back in 2003 and I jumped at the chance immediately, renting it. And the verdict? Honestly? Eh. It was all right. Took a while to get going. The deaths were pretty cool though. The make up was decent. And the acting was surely tolerable. Had some B list names in there were all familiar with. Including Kevin Zegers and the insanely hot, Lindy Booth, as the stoner couple (who also starred in the remake of Dawn of the Dead together). Jeremy Sisto and Emmanuelle Chriqui as the hippy-like, loving couple about to get married. Desmond Harrington as the business-man drifter. And of course, Eliza Dushku as the ridiculously sexy, bad ass chick (WITH NO BOYFRIEND). The film was all right for what it was. Obviously capable of spawning off a franchise. In 2007, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End came out. I'll see any horror sequel no matter how bad it may looks, but this??? FUCKING AWESOME. For a straight-to-dvd sequel? This was amazing. The first Wrong Turn could of learned from this one. Centering around a reality television show in inbred West Virginia with Henry Rollins as the 'ultimate tough guy' host?!? The film is exremely creative with the gore, very entertaining, doesn't drag for a second. I love when you go in watching a film with low expectations and it ends up being great! Unfortunately once the THREEQUEL was released, (Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead) the company lost a lot of money. The effects in the third chapter were so horrible, they looked like N64 games. Apparently Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (it's a prequel!!!) will be coming out this fall 2011. Ohhhhhh.... lets hope they don't screw it up.



3. CABIN FEVER 2: SPRING FEVER (2009)


-LOVED IT! LOVED IT! LOVED IT! Now I am a huge fan of the original Cabin Fever. I think Eli Roth truly made a classic horror film with a twist. Something that could actually happen (which always freaks people out...) and it was like what horror audiences all over the globe had been waiting for, for quite some time. A film with barely any stars and a limited budget! It was like The Evil Dead of 2002. The film was a monster success and made a pretty solid profit, turning Eli Roth into the director he is today. So obviously there going to make a sequel, right? Unfortunately it took 7 years for the film to come out. Ti West, this time, (director of The Roost and The House of the Devil) stepped behind the camera to pull this sequel off. Now the final cut we all know (and the one I am reviewing right now) IS NOT the version Ti West made. The studio completely changed his cut and practically made their own in the edit, giving him barely, if not any, control. Man... Hollywood sucks some times... HOWEVER. I still loved it. The acting was so much better than expected. It was funny. It had charm. It had tons and tons of blood. What more can you ask for?!? It retained all the ingredients the original Cabin Fever had and more! For those who don't know, the sequel centers on a high school prom that goes haywire when, not only the punch in the bowl, but also the bottles of water that are shipped to the school, contain a deadly bacteria spawned from the original film. Seriously. SEE THIS MOVIE. If you like the original, I don't think you'll be upset with this.

4. AMERICAN PSYCHO II: ALL AMERICAN GIRL (2002)


-Yikes. How does one review such a piece of trash like this? Well. It's going to be a struggle, but I'll do my best. Now I am a huge fan of the original American Psycho. I bought the DVD as soon as I saw it. I just found it to be one of the most intelligent psychological horrors in quite some time and surely gave me hope with current cinema. That there are still people out there willing to take risks with a piece of art. And the fact the director, screenwriter, and most of the crew, were women? All the more exciting. Christian Bale's finest performance in my opinion. To be honest, I was very confused and totally shocked when the sequel came out. This is not a film you make a sequel to. But. They did. So. I saw it. And it was garbage. Mila Kunis steps into Patrick Bateman's shoes as the new killer. The "All American Girl" if you will. She plays a disturbed college student, who witnessed her sister get tortured and murdered by Bateman when Kunis was only like 12-years-old. Now that right there is a blooper! Remember??? Bateman never killed anyone in real life! It was all in his mind. Guess the writers of the sequel didn't even see the original. Anyway, so Kunis wishes to become a Police Officer so she can rid people like Patrick Bateman off the streets herself. She takes a criminology course taught by, wait this is top knotch... WILLIAM 'FATASS' SHATNER! Jesus... Kunis finds out about this competition to be the College Professor's (Shatner) assistant, so she starts offing all the students in her class so she can be #1. The deaths are just pathetic. Did I mention some horny dude gets strangled with his own condom? There are plotholes you could drive a tow truck through. This film is a total disgrace and does not deserve the eys of ANYONE!

5. LAKE PLACID 2 (2007)


-Jesus. It was only a matter of time... Now the first Lake Placid was by no means an amazing horror film, but it was surely very fun. It was entertaining, a little scary at times, and I'll enjoy anything that stars Bridget Fonda and Brendan Gleeson. So, of course, eventually the Sci-Fi channel decided to make a straight-to-dvd sequel that starred uh.... um... NOBODY??? Well, with the exception of one unlucky lady... This film has such a low budget it makes Plan 9 From Outer Space look like Inception. The gore is laughable, the acting is horrendous, the story is pointless, the characters are unlikeable, the crocodile is horrible CGI. Everything about this film is trash. Hell, they even made a threequel if you could believe it! How does that happen! This sequel alone is God awful. It made no money. Where do they get the balls to make ANOTHER chapter! And you know what the saddest thing is about Lake Placid 2? Cloris Leachman plays the 'Croc Lady' this time... CLORIS LEACHMAN!!! AN OSCAR WINNER! How many times do you think she said to herself in between takes of Lake Placid 2, "What the hell am I doing... is this really happening right now? Am... am I really doing this right now? Jesus..." If I had to say at least ONE redeeming quality about this film, it would have to be that it's sort of one of those 'So bad it's good' films. So...piece of advice? Either watch it shit faced, stoned, or not at all.

6. OPEN WATER 2: ADRIFT (2006)


-I have to admit. I really liked this film. Now when the original Open Water came out, audiences all over either loved it or hated it. I personally enjoyed it very much and found it extremely creepy. I, myself, am afraid of underwater monsters, so... I really respected the whole handheld camera feel. It seriously felt like a documentary to me. Some people complained about it being too boring. I found it anything but. AND you get to see gorgeous Blanchard Ryan naked! In 2006, the sequel came out, taking on a whole new sort of terror. WEATHER. The film centers on a group of thirty-somethings, one of which brings her baby, who board a douchebag, careless friend (Eric Dane) of their's yaht for the weekend. One thing leads to another. They all leap off the boat to go swimming, leaving the baby on board, but... OOPS. Eric Dane forgot to put up the emergency ladder to get back on the yaht. Now they all have to struggle to climb back on. Meanwhile heavy weather conditions arise causing there struggling to stay afloat all the more painful. The film is not incredible and can definitely dip into some cheesy Hollywood moments at times, but it's far better than I expected. I was on the edge of my seat for a few scenes. The acting was fine, the budget was solid. The story was terrifying and realistic. The fact that there all SO CLOSE, but so far, to getting on that boat just messes with your head. AND. A baby is on board during the horrible weather, with no food or water, so... yeah. It goes there... If you hate the first Open Water, STILL watch this one, cause there completely different films.



SINCERELY,
FILMBOY

ENTRY QUOTE:
"Acting's fun. But life's more important." - Margot Kidder

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